Nativity.

Well alrighty. I haven't blogged since January - which is unfortunate since so many things (amazing and heartbreaking) have happened in that time. However, when I sat down to blog tonight, I wanted to do a blog about a modern day analysis of the Nativity. I cannot do this in many other public forums because I do not choose to offend people of faith (which would not be intentional here, but I could see how it may come across that way). I went with my dear friend Kim tonight and her parents to see the Nativity Pageant at the Carillon...it was really beautiful, and I forgot how I love the music fitting in to it. Anyway - I haven't seen it since I was a kid...and I didn't think to pick it apart and tease out all the weirdness happening in the story..I was talking to Kim about it after and the following ideas came as a result.

(***let me set the stage here, it is two nights before Christmas, I am sitting on my chaise lounge, next to the warm glow of my gorgeous 7 foot tree, and listening to the "Sounds of the Season" channel on cable***)aaaaand go:

1) If a girl came to us today and told us she was a virgin, but was with child of the breath of God, we would look at her like she was a delusional girl of ill repute. Seriously. You mean to tell me you've never had sex, yet some angel came and bestowed a child upon you because you are in "good graces with God"? Really? I'm not sure how I would respond to this - probably with a very cautious call to the local crisis unit for a mental status exam. She would also probably end up on either an MTV show or a Lifetime movie: "16 and Immaculately Conceived"

2) If I were Joseph, and the aforementioned girl came to me (as my wife) and told me she was pregnant, but I knew it wasn't mine - I would be HIGHLY suspect. (*Maury voice* "JOSEPH: you are NOT the father.") How did this man just go along with it? I don't understand. I would have been livid. He's a better man than I would be, I guess. Just went with her, there was the kid, he didn't ask questions. That's a trusting husband.

3) Oh these Three Wise Men. If you were so wise, you would know that frankincense (smoking smell good stuff), myrrh (perfume) and gold (heavy and dangerous) do NOT...repeat: DO NOT belong at a baby shower. I don't get their thinking behind this. Diapers, a pacifier, burping cloth...y'know...

4) Why, in the story, do they continue to refer to Jesus being wrapped in "swaddling clothes"? Of COURSE you're going to swaddle your baby - it's calming. I won't go in to the importance of sensory input in children, but that's what's happening when you swaddle babies...it's necessary to growth, development, and calm. Why can't we just refer to it as Jesus' onesie? I mean - that's pretty much what it was, right? This story needs some updating I think. Jesus is in the hay, kickin'  it in his onesie. It most likely had a cross on it. Or a sheep.We'll go with a sheep. No...it would say "WWJD?" Yes, that sounds about right.

I hope that I haven't offended anyone, but looking at it as a grown up, and not as a person of deep (if any) religious faith - I felt like it needed some more clarification. I hope everyone (whoever even reads this - so all one of you) has a wonderful, safe and very happy holiday. If you're traveling, be safe...if you're not, be happy...and if you're drinking, make sure someone takes your phone before you drunk text.