I feel like it is absolutely ridiculous that we work our asses off, only to be dealt the cards that say "pay all of your bills, spend all of your money, have no fun/time for yourself". I know I bitch about money a lot, but it used to be something that I had a plethora of - it was much easier when splitting all bills with someone...but since I no longer have that luxury, it's kind of kicking my ass. I don't really love it - but at the same time, I don't want to live with anyone (roommate, girlfriend, etc.) so I guess I will just accept the consequences and keep it movin'. Diamond Dog and I gots all we need. I guess it's just hitting me extra hard because work messes with our paychecks in December, and I have to Christmas shop still. Yikes! I wish I had to motivation to get a second job, but I really don't think that I can deal with that and handle everything else. Hopefully going back to school will help.
I emailed 3 different PhD programs at VCU yesterday: social and behavioral health, counseling psychology and special education/disability policy. I can't decide which one I'm most interested in - and I can't express how much I am NOT looking forward to taking the GRE for admission...I was hoping my MAT combined with my Master's degree would suffice, but no dice. Oh-well...rules are rules :)
I'm interested to see how the upcoming Presidential show down shakes out. I think it will be really interesting to see which candidates end up being teased out on the republican side. I'm excited - this is going to be a very pumped up year.
My 2nd annual Christmas party is tomorrow - I'm so excited to see my friends and to just relax and enjoy good company. Due to the constant running around/gym/work/whatever, I feel like I don't get to see/spend much time with my friends - the guest list includes some super winners :) Should be around 25-30 folks here...I can't wait...my apartment is totally decorated. I love that when you look out the guest room you see the entire sky line lit up through the lights that are inside my own window. It's very pictureesque. Festive festive festive! I can't wait to see Christmas lights next week with Morgan - we've decided to tackle south side tacky lights since I've seen the ones in the West End countless times. I'm stoked.
Happy Friday, friends.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Closure.
There's a point in time, in all our lives, where we lose a great something. A family member, a great love, a pet, etc. What do we do when this happens? We go through the stages of grief - each more painful than the last, sometimes in "order", sometimes in random succession...we try to make sense - we ask why - we shed tears - we go back in our minds about how things could have been different - we yell - we bitch - we ask for it back - we try to find and believe in something greater than ourselves to bring it back - we plead - we try to make it better - we ask for help - we cry on our friends shoulders - we do things to take our minds off of it - we try to make it not so - we say "why the fuck is this happening to me?". What happens if we don't get closure? How do we make sense of what happened? It suddenly becomes our responsibility to take it in to our hands and make it so that we have some peace in our heart about what has happened.
Life's a bitch. A chain link fence of happiness, heartbreak, horrible events, love, wonder, change...the whole gamut of emotions. So how do we make it better? How do we let go? Sometimes it's up to us to ensure that we get what we need. This can be in the form of a prayer, a letter, an email, all of the above...but if someone can't give it to you, then you have to make peace in your own heart. You have to let go. You have to breathe it in to the universe so that it is no longer yours. It doesn't mean you forget, or stop loving or stop the feelings you've had. It simply means that you no longer allow it to block things in your life that you may have been missing out on while holding on to what is no longer there. Does it hurt? It hurts like hell. Does it make you sad? It made me sad. Is it also freeing? You're damn right it is. I will always love the person I spent 4 years and 9mos of my life with - but it is not fair to the person I've loved and spent the past 16 months with to continue to hang on. Countless times she should have walked away from my crazy, bitchy, emotional self - but she didn't...I owe it to her, to us to be the best person in a relationship I can be - which is a pretty damn good person. This means closing part of the book of my past life and fully opening the book of my present life. Waiting around for life to start isn't going to cut it for me anymore - that having been said, I have decided to apply to a PhD program...now I just need to decide which one I want to apply to. I was destined for greatness and have been selling myself short - that's no longer going to work for me.
In closing, I'm sharing some lyrics by Sugarland - I feel like this song sums me up, but I'm on my way to changing this. Loves.
Little miss done on love
Little miss, I give up
Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore
Little miss checkered dress
Little miss, one big mess
Little miss, I'll take less when I always give so much more
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Little miss, do your best
Little miss, never rest
Little miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out
Little miss, you'll go far
Little miss, hide your scars
Little miss, who you are is so much more than you like to talk about
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Hold on
Hold on, you are loved
Are loved...
Little miss, brand new start
Little miss, do your part
Little miss, big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay, it'll be alright again)
I'm okay! (It'll be alright again)
Life's a bitch. A chain link fence of happiness, heartbreak, horrible events, love, wonder, change...the whole gamut of emotions. So how do we make it better? How do we let go? Sometimes it's up to us to ensure that we get what we need. This can be in the form of a prayer, a letter, an email, all of the above...but if someone can't give it to you, then you have to make peace in your own heart. You have to let go. You have to breathe it in to the universe so that it is no longer yours. It doesn't mean you forget, or stop loving or stop the feelings you've had. It simply means that you no longer allow it to block things in your life that you may have been missing out on while holding on to what is no longer there. Does it hurt? It hurts like hell. Does it make you sad? It made me sad. Is it also freeing? You're damn right it is. I will always love the person I spent 4 years and 9mos of my life with - but it is not fair to the person I've loved and spent the past 16 months with to continue to hang on. Countless times she should have walked away from my crazy, bitchy, emotional self - but she didn't...I owe it to her, to us to be the best person in a relationship I can be - which is a pretty damn good person. This means closing part of the book of my past life and fully opening the book of my present life. Waiting around for life to start isn't going to cut it for me anymore - that having been said, I have decided to apply to a PhD program...now I just need to decide which one I want to apply to. I was destined for greatness and have been selling myself short - that's no longer going to work for me.
In closing, I'm sharing some lyrics by Sugarland - I feel like this song sums me up, but I'm on my way to changing this. Loves.
Little miss done on love
Little miss, I give up
Little miss, I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore
Little miss checkered dress
Little miss, one big mess
Little miss, I'll take less when I always give so much more
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Little miss, do your best
Little miss, never rest
Little miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out
Little miss, you'll go far
Little miss, hide your scars
Little miss, who you are is so much more than you like to talk about
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Hold on
Hold on, you are loved
Are loved...
Little miss, brand new start
Little miss, do your part
Little miss, big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay, it'll be alright again)
I'm okay! (It'll be alright again)
Monday, November 7, 2011
Thoughts.
Ok....so, let's start with health care in america...it blows. I'm unsure how it is that I would be financially responsible for $100 less than the cost of the ENTIRE surgery...yet I'm fully insured. So basically now you have to be extremely loaded in order to have a simple outpatient procedure done? That doesn't make sense to me - at all. It's all a joke...and it's all fueled by ignorance that if we had universal healthcare somehow our country would go to shit. NEWSFLASH: it already has.
Let's now discuss student loans. I hate to even start this thought because it just stresses me out to no end, but it's important to understand that it is impossible to get a job without going completely broke in loans (unless you're some super lucky trust fund baby or have an awesome job that actually pays for your education). I'm so tired of there being so much regulation on things that really don't need regulation, they need relief. It's ridiculous that I do what I do, love what I do - yet pay what I pay in loans each month. It's completely unfair.
I'm so very glad that Thanksgiving is coming up soon. I'm in major need of relax time with friends and family. THEN IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!! My favorite time of the year - I don't care if I go "overboard" with it, or people think me getting the big tree is a waste of money...it's my money, and it makes me happy. I love Christmas. I'm already so stoked that there's christmas stuff out in the stores (especially walgreens...)...Diamond Dog is getting a new sweater for Christmas and she will look super nifty. I'm very excited. We're also trying to coordinate a door decorating contest in our building - Kara's idea after I told her how awesome my door is gonna look.
Let's now discuss student loans. I hate to even start this thought because it just stresses me out to no end, but it's important to understand that it is impossible to get a job without going completely broke in loans (unless you're some super lucky trust fund baby or have an awesome job that actually pays for your education). I'm so tired of there being so much regulation on things that really don't need regulation, they need relief. It's ridiculous that I do what I do, love what I do - yet pay what I pay in loans each month. It's completely unfair.
I'm so very glad that Thanksgiving is coming up soon. I'm in major need of relax time with friends and family. THEN IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!!!! My favorite time of the year - I don't care if I go "overboard" with it, or people think me getting the big tree is a waste of money...it's my money, and it makes me happy. I love Christmas. I'm already so stoked that there's christmas stuff out in the stores (especially walgreens...)...Diamond Dog is getting a new sweater for Christmas and she will look super nifty. I'm very excited. We're also trying to coordinate a door decorating contest in our building - Kara's idea after I told her how awesome my door is gonna look.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friends.
Today we went to Plant Zero Cafe for brunch - it was a relatively well organized building event. 7 of us were in attendance..only one of which doesn't live in my building. I really must say - I love and adore my friends. We all laughed, and ordered as many $1.50 mimosas as we could - and then walked back across the street. Gotta love that, right? Kara was so sweet and drove us to the market afterward so we could get more mimosa makings and she got some pumpkins. I've been thinking a lot about the people who drain me emotionally and otherwise just to remain a "friend". I love the new folks I've met recently because they don't cause me to feel this way - they just act as true, genuine friends. I love genuine folks. I needed to blog about these folks, and have decided that soon I will make a blog post about the dog park friends with their best friends (the dogs) to include pictures of dogs and owners together...stay tuned for that. I feel so silly talking to folks on my blog - I'm not even sure who reads it...BUT if you're one of the lucky ones that does, stay tuned for the dog pics :) Friends are amazing - we should all be so lucky as to have a handful of amazing ones.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Monday, October 10, 2011
Injustice.
Here's the deal: none of us are perfect. End of story. That having been said, we should be very careful of the things we say to people and how those things may make others feel. Yes, I know I should be heeding my own advice here - and maybe I will one day. However, its just not nice to be unkind WHEN NOT PROVOKED. (Trust me, im all about some good, old fashioned character defamation when pissed...and I think, to a point, its a very healthy outlet.) I love to talk trash about every person who makes me mad...and when justified I don't feel bad about it...but just to say stuff because you didn't consider the other person's feelings? Nah. Not so much.
Moving on from that!
I watched "Waiting for "Superman" " the other day at work and it reignited a flame I've had in my heart for YEARS: education reform. Why is this so important? Let's think about the kids in our schools who are currently in high school...but reading on a 1st grade level. How is that child going to get a job? How is that child going to provide for him/herself and navigate their world? Now that you've given that some thought - consider this: who are going to be the people making community and societal decisions in the future? Those kids. They're our future - Whitney Houston was really on to something when she wrote that song. Anyway...it needs to be paid more attention to...and folks like Michelle Rhee and Geoffrey Canada are some true visionaries in this. Fight the good fight.
Moving on from that!
I watched "Waiting for "Superman" " the other day at work and it reignited a flame I've had in my heart for YEARS: education reform. Why is this so important? Let's think about the kids in our schools who are currently in high school...but reading on a 1st grade level. How is that child going to get a job? How is that child going to provide for him/herself and navigate their world? Now that you've given that some thought - consider this: who are going to be the people making community and societal decisions in the future? Those kids. They're our future - Whitney Houston was really on to something when she wrote that song. Anyway...it needs to be paid more attention to...and folks like Michelle Rhee and Geoffrey Canada are some true visionaries in this. Fight the good fight.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Hate.
This is in response to some silliness going on on facebook regarding homosexuality that initially began as a discussion regarding don't ask, don't tell.
@ Michael: Hi! My name is Kari, and I'm gay. Let's do a little broadening of that narrow mind of yours, shall we? 1) I have slept with, dated and been engaged to men (well, the engagement was just to one man, but that's irrelevant) and gue...ss what? It didn't work out - and not because there is anything wrong with me, or with them...it just simply didn't work because I wasn't fully attracted to them. 2) As Janelle said, you did not wake up one morning and choose to be straight - it's just who you are. I did not wake up one morning and choose to be gay - it's just who I am. 3) If you're only goal in having sex is to pro-create...I feel very sad for you. Let's just be honest - we all have sex because sex is awesome...not because we hope that the end result of the act is a sperm fertilizing an egg. That's just insanity my friend. 4) I assure you that I do not want to marry my dog just because I would like to have the option of marrying my girlfriend (that's her in my profile picture, isn't she great?!) without anyone putting limitations on my life or how I live it. 5) I promise I'm not going to hell. How do I know this for certain? I wake up every morning and work with kids who are either physically, emotionally, or cognitively disabled. I work with kids in poverty and kids who may or may not be able to ever live independently - at the end of the day, the parents of my kids do not care about my sexual orientation...they only care that I am able to unconditionally love and support their kids to learn and grow within their current academic setting. And no, I am not a child molester or any other ridiculous nonsense that one could possibly put in right here. 6) I don't want to marry my dog, or any other animal for that matter - I'm gay, I'm not practicing beastiality...that's just an insane thought that the two would even go together. 7) I am not judging or discriminating against you and calling you a breeder or making other wildly outlandish assumptions about you or the way you live your life. Why? well mostly because I simply do not care, and more importantly because ...it's not my place to do so. 8) Finally, if you honestly think for one single second that anyone would actively choose to be judged like ignorant, uneducated individuals such as yourself for their entire lives JUST to love another person - you're dead wrong.
@ Michael: Hi! My name is Kari, and I'm gay. Let's do a little broadening of that narrow mind of yours, shall we? 1) I have slept with, dated and been engaged to men (well, the engagement was just to one man, but that's irrelevant) and gue...ss what? It didn't work out - and not because there is anything wrong with me, or with them...it just simply didn't work because I wasn't fully attracted to them. 2) As Janelle said, you did not wake up one morning and choose to be straight - it's just who you are. I did not wake up one morning and choose to be gay - it's just who I am. 3) If you're only goal in having sex is to pro-create...I feel very sad for you. Let's just be honest - we all have sex because sex is awesome...not because we hope that the end result of the act is a sperm fertilizing an egg. That's just insanity my friend. 4) I assure you that I do not want to marry my dog just because I would like to have the option of marrying my girlfriend (that's her in my profile picture, isn't she great?!) without anyone putting limitations on my life or how I live it. 5) I promise I'm not going to hell. How do I know this for certain? I wake up every morning and work with kids who are either physically, emotionally, or cognitively disabled. I work with kids in poverty and kids who may or may not be able to ever live independently - at the end of the day, the parents of my kids do not care about my sexual orientation...they only care that I am able to unconditionally love and support their kids to learn and grow within their current academic setting. And no, I am not a child molester or any other ridiculous nonsense that one could possibly put in right here. 6) I don't want to marry my dog, or any other animal for that matter - I'm gay, I'm not practicing beastiality...that's just an insane thought that the two would even go together. 7) I am not judging or discriminating against you and calling you a breeder or making other wildly outlandish assumptions about you or the way you live your life. Why? well mostly because I simply do not care, and more importantly because ...it's not my place to do so. 8) Finally, if you honestly think for one single second that anyone would actively choose to be judged like ignorant, uneducated individuals such as yourself for their entire lives JUST to love another person - you're dead wrong.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Ouch.
So! I'm currently laid up with a thoracic sprain - my hunch is that I did this while in kickboxing class and possibly aggrivated it while laying the wrong way on the couch. Regardless, it hurts like a bitch. I've been watching the news and keeping up with infos in the world...and have the following to say:
RE: Michaele Salahi
This woman is out of her mind. First of all, who crashes a white house dinner? In response to her and her husband's poor behavior, she is rewarded with a spot on the housewives nonsense...which I personally think is the stupidest concept ever. Now she is "kidnapped" - I take issue with this because she continues to receive positive attention for negative behavior - which, due to the nature of my job, I think is awful. Only in America would this happen. I have some semi-personal experience with these 2 - which I promise is not positive. Also, they seem relatively boring and insignificant to the world in general. In addition, I think that Neal Schon needs to check his head - does he also need additional attention?
RE: Inappropriate status updates
I don't necessarily care about every single detail about everyone's life on my facebook. It has come to my attention recently that there are a loooooooooot of people on my news feed who put up waaaaaaaay too much information for all to see. It falls in to my same belief that famous folks use their status to say some pretty dumb shit. For instance: my recent (and unfortunate) hearing of Kat Von D saying "nothing is forever, not even tattoos" really?? Wow. I swear if I were famous I would use my powers for good and not for stupid. Anyway, I feel like if you're going through a break up or a whatever, it should be kept a touch more private...hence the reason I got a twitter account where no one really follows me - it's my bitch session outlet and am very selective of who gets to follow me so as not to over share. Tighten up, folks.
RE: Thoracic Sprain
This shit is for the birds. My back (upper, between my shoulder blades) is absolutely killing me. I'm having trouble moving around to do everyday sorts of things - I can definitely say I'm annoyed. The Dr. at the urgent care place first said she was concerned that I have meningitis because I had random spine pain - way to freak me out. I immediately googled the symptoms (gotta love my droid) and quickly realized that, unless my blood work stated differently, I did not have meningitis. How scary though?? As a result, I took a half day off yesterday and the day off today.
RE: America's Got Talent
Congratulations to Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. for his win on America's Got Talent! While I think this man is EXCEEDINGLY talented - does Vegas really need another Frank Sinatra inspired singer to fill its halls? I doubt it. It's like having another Wayne Newton or Elvis. I personally would have loved to see Team iLuminate win because I feel like this is a new, fresh and innovative act that would have drawn a lot of fans and attention....but what do I know? I'm just 1 person...although I did do my part and vote 10 times like a good fan ;)
RE: Michelle Bachmann
Ohhhh Michelle...we meet again. Your most recent statement about HPV causing mental retardation is pretty damn ridiculous. Although I understand that you're dead ass wrong, you never cease to amaze me with your blatant stupidity. I have to say - Michelle and Sarah Palin are neck in neck for my two favorite train wrecks. Although they both make me equally embarrassed to be a woman, they're pretty entertaining. I found a great website that outlines 10 of the craziest things Michelle Bachmann has ever said . A great read if you have the time. I truly hope that she gets the republican nomination...it would just be a winning situation for all.
RE: Michaele Salahi
This woman is out of her mind. First of all, who crashes a white house dinner? In response to her and her husband's poor behavior, she is rewarded with a spot on the housewives nonsense...which I personally think is the stupidest concept ever. Now she is "kidnapped" - I take issue with this because she continues to receive positive attention for negative behavior - which, due to the nature of my job, I think is awful. Only in America would this happen. I have some semi-personal experience with these 2 - which I promise is not positive. Also, they seem relatively boring and insignificant to the world in general. In addition, I think that Neal Schon needs to check his head - does he also need additional attention?
RE: Inappropriate status updates
I don't necessarily care about every single detail about everyone's life on my facebook. It has come to my attention recently that there are a loooooooooot of people on my news feed who put up waaaaaaaay too much information for all to see. It falls in to my same belief that famous folks use their status to say some pretty dumb shit. For instance: my recent (and unfortunate) hearing of Kat Von D saying "nothing is forever, not even tattoos" really?? Wow. I swear if I were famous I would use my powers for good and not for stupid. Anyway, I feel like if you're going through a break up or a whatever, it should be kept a touch more private...hence the reason I got a twitter account where no one really follows me - it's my bitch session outlet and am very selective of who gets to follow me so as not to over share. Tighten up, folks.
RE: Thoracic Sprain
This shit is for the birds. My back (upper, between my shoulder blades) is absolutely killing me. I'm having trouble moving around to do everyday sorts of things - I can definitely say I'm annoyed. The Dr. at the urgent care place first said she was concerned that I have meningitis because I had random spine pain - way to freak me out. I immediately googled the symptoms (gotta love my droid) and quickly realized that, unless my blood work stated differently, I did not have meningitis. How scary though?? As a result, I took a half day off yesterday and the day off today.
RE: America's Got Talent
Congratulations to Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. for his win on America's Got Talent! While I think this man is EXCEEDINGLY talented - does Vegas really need another Frank Sinatra inspired singer to fill its halls? I doubt it. It's like having another Wayne Newton or Elvis. I personally would have loved to see Team iLuminate win because I feel like this is a new, fresh and innovative act that would have drawn a lot of fans and attention....but what do I know? I'm just 1 person...although I did do my part and vote 10 times like a good fan ;)
RE: Michelle Bachmann
Ohhhh Michelle...we meet again. Your most recent statement about HPV causing mental retardation is pretty damn ridiculous. Although I understand that you're dead ass wrong, you never cease to amaze me with your blatant stupidity. I have to say - Michelle and Sarah Palin are neck in neck for my two favorite train wrecks. Although they both make me equally embarrassed to be a woman, they're pretty entertaining. I found a great website that outlines 10 of the craziest things Michelle Bachmann has ever said . A great read if you have the time. I truly hope that she gets the republican nomination...it would just be a winning situation for all.
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