The day I got my tattoo I woke up from a dream about my ex of 5yrs who left me 4yrs ago. In the dream, she was struggling with some issues with her current girlfriend and I was able to act as a friend to help her through it. Not in an effort to get back together. Not with any ulterior motives. Nothing but to be a friend. In the dream we also got to hash out our issues....which we have never done. Yesterday I chatted with her for a while regarding how much my use of substances impacted out relationship. She was honest and said it impacted it quite a bit. I was always so angry that she left me for the girl she's with now...when in reality, I pushed her out with my behavior. The same thing I did to Morgan. Yesterday I took responsibility for my behavior and let go of all of that hurt and anger towards her. It's taken me a long time, and a lot of work but I am so glad that I no longer am holding on to that relationship. She thanked me for sharing with her and is proud of what I'm doing with my life for the past 20 days. I feel so much peace about it now and know that I do not have to take her and our issues in to my next relationship (which....I don't bank on ever having). I feel horrible for allowing it affect mine and Morgan's relationship...but I am thankful to have the opportunity to let it go. Thanks, TEM....I appreciate you :) I'm so glad that chapter is closed.
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