Unknown.

Today is day 15 of not getting f'd up to get away from my feelings. I'm proud of myself and feel like I'm certainly on the right path. I feel more clear headed and rational than I have in a very long time. However, I still have break up brain. I can't believe it has been a month since I've seen the one person who I love with my entire heart. There's been so much distance put between is and I fear she will forget. Forget me, forget Diamond and Greta (who she once loved as if they were her own), forget our life together, forget the fun things we did and how when things were good, they were so good. I want a life with her. Not the life we had, not the way we both had become. But a real life, with future plans and communication and feeling good about ourselves so we feel good in our relationship. Laughing and crying and spending time with friends, cooking and eating together. Going on vacations and experiencing new things together. Holding hands when we walk down the streets and sneaking kisses when no one is looking. 

The unknown is so hard. Will she ever speak to me again? Will we ever have a chance to talk and give this a try once more? Will she try to push me out so far that we are then strangers? I hope not. I have a little hope that we can come back together as more improved versions of ourselves and make it work. I haven't given up. I haven't stopped loving her. I haven't walked away just yet. Because I have a little bit of hope that we can work this out. That we can show the love we once had. It's just so hard. Hard to hold on. 

"Say Something"

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'll be the one, if you want me to

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something...