Wondering.

I feel like such a lame ass to still be holding on to some kind of hope that my relationship may be able to be salvaged. When in reality, it probably can't be. When we broke up 2yrs ago, I told her everything that I was unhappy with. She worked on all of those things and showed me she had made a change. I was really impressed with her commitment to us and our relationship. I feel like now it is my turn to show her that I am committed to doing the right things in order to be in a relationship with her again. Of course these steps will better me regardless of whether or not we get back together but I have been putting in some hard work for 17 days. I have faced some fears, started boxing lessons, not gotten fucked up....been trying to get comfortable with feeling things again. Maybe 17 days isn't long enough. Maybe she doesn't actually care anymore. These changes will continue regardless, but I genuinely hope that she will give me another shot. Why? Because I never stopped loving her. I never stopped wanting to be with her despite being unhappy at times. I didn't walk away. I'm still wondering if we will have another chance.