Insecurity.

What a stupid stupid thing. We all have it and anyone who says they don't probably isn't telling the truth. Let's break this down, shall we? According to Webster:

noun [plural in·se·cu·ri·ties.]

1. lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt:He is plagued by insecurity.

But why? What happened to cause us to think we don't have that confidence or assurance? For me it was years and years of being cheated on and lied to (not by my current ex, she's always been super respectful of me and us). So eventually I just figured this is the way things go so just be prepared for it. The problem here is that past experiences do not always show up in current or future experiences. So! While I was sitting around being insecure about the ex hollaring at some rando chick, I should've reminded myself that she's with me and if she didn't want to be with me, she would leave (unfortunately she did leave but I still like to think it had nothing to do with someone else). I wasted precious time blowing off compliments and love from someone who was really willing to give it to me because she really did feel that way. I always negated that. Yknow when someone says you look pretty and you respond with "yeah my fat ass was actually able to fit in this"? No? Just me? Well that's a typical me response for compliments. Instead of thank you - even if I didn't internalize it. I think it used to hurt her feelings to have compliments brushed off, and I wish I had realized that a little sooner. Stupid brain. My new tattoo has me feeling pretty sexy lately....here's a pic:

Let's seeeeeeee.....pictures for this entry......

This is a love note I received today - apparently my facial expressions were NOT well contained. 

This morning's sunrise :)

Oh and in case you were curious, I'm still making my bed :)